Non-Binary Lesbians Exist — And Are Valid

For as long as I can remember, I have had some gatekeeper commenting that my identity as a non-binary lesbian somehow does not exist. I used to get really upset and internalize it, but now I realize I do not need anyone else to tell me I am valid in order to be so.

Before I go on to tell you why non-binary lesbians exist and are valid — let me define what it means to be non-binary and a lesbian.

Being non-binary means that you identify outside of the gender binary — you are not masculine or feminine presenting. This, however, does not mean that someone non-binary cannot present as masculine or feminine, it just means we are not exclusively either or.

Being a lesbian means that you have an attraction to women. Traditional definitions state that this attraction is women to women — however, I argue that this is not the case.

Non-binary lesbians have a place in our community. Just because someone does not identify exclusively as a woman, it does not mean they cannot be a lesbian. In my case, I identify mostly with my feminine side, but still have masculine moments — and I have an attraction to women. Therefore, a lesbian is the best term to describe my sexual orientation.

Labels are not to be used to exclude people — but rather help us explore our gender identity and sexual orientation. Using labels to exclude people is anti-LGBTQ and should be treated as such. We need to include all identities and orientations in our community — except for harmful ones, like pedophiles also known as minor attracted persons (MAPs).